dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize