And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Edward fifth and chaser hands
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
