just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
