i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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