I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
