i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
