hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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