dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
