Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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