They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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