All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize