I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize