i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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