I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
