Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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