; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
