its not stalking. its research.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
