i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
