I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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