At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
