Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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