first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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