let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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