I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
