North Korea, Best Korea!
Life is so much better after having sex.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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