it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it hurts more in the daytime
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
