fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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