how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
