you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wish there were birth control emojis
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i think im in europe. pls send help
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
