well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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