Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
