yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
