a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
