To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
