yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
