The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
you never un-have a 4some
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize