We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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