I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My breasts were aching with rage.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
