I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
