We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
