You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
