fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
