Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
