i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
