I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
