Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
