so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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