Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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