Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
