It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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