and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
