TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
