I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
