I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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