I didn't shave. On purpose
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
