eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
