she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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