It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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