There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
