Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
