I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
