We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
