Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
