Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize