If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
