did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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