I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
