sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Where is the hickey?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
