thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
