i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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