I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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