you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
