id be glad to
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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