Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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