I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
