Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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